The government seem to be getting a lot of ePetitions up lately, now some, such as the Helping Hand or the Gold petitions are a bit bogus and obviously just drawing in the crowds, but there’s another one up that looks in a similar vein to the car tax one. I’m predicting some righteous indignation and pitchfork-waving, or worse still.. flashguns at dawn..
Apparently, although I’ve not seen any legislation yet that there are a number of moves promoting the requirement of ‘ID’ cards to allow photographers to operate in a public place. It is a fundamental right of a UK citizen to use a camera in a public place (except swimming baths, playgrounds and other places you shouldn’t be pointing cameras at people – thanks Jim!), indeed there is no right to privacy when in a public place. These moves have developed from paranoia and only promote suspicion towards genuine people following their hobby or profession.
It sounds very much like a response and formalisation of the experiences that we so frequently hear about – run-ins with security guards, prevented from taking pictures of public places.
There are some obvious questions that spring to mind which cannot be answered without further details of this legislation. If this is true.. is there a restriction on the size/type of camera or lens (i.e. not just “big” dSLR cameras, what about a compact or mobile phone?) What happens to tourists? if you’re in the UK on holiday, and have your camera with you? What punishment could they legally dish out ? deletion of images? Confiscation of equipment? Fine? Imprisonment?!
I guess the thing is that we can’t take the risk.. sign up and pass it on…
Hugh Thompson has a great blog post about how he managed to crash an in flight entertainment system, something he called a ‘Software Abuse Case’
One of the most interesting examples of a software “abuse case” came to me rather abruptly on an airplane flight from Las Vegas to Orlando in mid 2005.
Each seat in the airplane had a small touch screen monitor built into the head rest of the chair in front, and on this particular airline, passengers could watch a variety of television channels and play a few simple games. One such game looked remarkably similar to the classic strategy game Tetris, where players use their skills to manipulate falling blocks on a screen to try and form horizontal lines. I’m a big fan of Tetris; for a few months in 1998 I was borderline obsessed with it. I would start looking at everyday objects and start mentally fitting them together with other tings in the room to form weird line configurations. One of the options on this particular airborne version of Tetris was to alter the number of blocks one could see in advance on the screen before they started falling.
To give myself the biggest advantage in the game, I pressed the + control as many times as it would allow and got to the maximum value of 4. I then put on my “bad guy” hat on and asked: How *else* can I change the value in this field? Near my armrest was a small phone console; you know, the one where you can make very important calls for a mere $22 per minute. I noticed that the phone had a numeric keypad and that it also controlled this television monitor embedded in the seat in front of me.
I then touched the screen in front of me to highlight the number “4″ in the options configuration. I tried to enter the number 10 into that field through the phone keypad with no luck: it first changed to the number “1″ followed by the number “0″. Frustrated, I then made the assumption that it would only accept single digit values. My next test case was the number “8″; no luck there either, the number didn’t change at all. I then tried the number 5: success! ‘5′ is an interesting test case, it’s a “boundary value” just beyond the maximum allowed value of the field which was ‘4′. A classic programming mistake is to be off by 1 when coding constraints. For example, the programmer may have intended to code the statements:
0 < value < 5
When what actually got coded was
0 < value <= 5
I now had the software exactly where I wanted it, in an unintended state; the illegal value 5 was now in my target field. I then turn my attention back to the screen and hit the + button which, to my complete surprise, incremented the value to 6! Again, an implementation problem, the increment constrain probably said something like “if value = 4 do not increment.” In this case, the value wasn’t 4 but 5 so it happily incremented it to 6! I then continue to increment the value by pressing the + button until I get to 127 and then I pause for a moment of reflection. 127 is a very special number; it is the upper bound of a 1 byte signed integer. Strange things can happen when we add 1 to this value, namely that 127 + 1 = -128! I considered this for a moment as I kicked back a small bag of peanuts and in the interest of science I boldly pressed the + button once more. Suddenly, the display now flashes -128 just for an instant and then poof…screen goes black.
Poof…screen of the person next to me goes black.
Screens in front of me and behind me go black.
The entire plane entertainment system goes down (and thankfully the cascading system failure didn’t spill over to the plane navigation system)!
After a few minutes of mumbling from some of the passengers, a fairly emotionless flight attendant reset the system and all was well. I landed with a new-found respect for the game of Tetris and consider this to be the most entertaining version of it I have ever played.
Its pancake day.. or Shrove Tuesday if you want to be a bit more politically correct..
Ingredients
For the pancake mixture:
110g/4oz plain flour, sifted
pinch of salt
2 eggs
200ml/7fl oz milk mixed with 75ml/3fl oz water
50g/2oz butter
To serve:
caster sugar
lemon juice
lemon wedges
Method
Sift the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl with a sieve held high above the bowl so the flour gets a airing. Now make a well in the centre of the flour and break the eggs into it. Then begin whisking the eggs – any sort of whisk or even a fork will do – incorporating any bits of flour from around the edge of the bowl as you do so.
Next gradually add small quantities of the milk and water mixture, still whisking (don’t worry about any lumps as they will eventually disappear as you whisk). When all the liquid has been added, use a rubber spatula to scrape any elusive bits of flour from around the edge into the centre, then whisk once more until the batter is smooth, with the consistency of thin cream. Now melt the 50g/2oz of butter in a pan. Spoon 2 tbsp of it into the batter and whisk it in, then pour the rest into a bowl anduse it to lubricate the pan, using a wodge of kitchen paper to smear it round before you make each pancake.
Now get the pan really hot, then turn the heat down to medium and, to start with, do a test pancake to see if you’re using the correct amount of batter. I find 2 tbsp is about right for an 18cm/7in pan. It’s also helpful if you spoon the batter into a ladle so it can be poured into the hot pan in one go. As soon as the batter hits the hot pan, tip it around from side to side to get the base evenly coated with batter. It should take only half a minute or so to cook; you can lift the edge with a palette knife to see if it’s tinged gold as it should be. Flip the pancake over with a pan slice or palette knife – the other side will need a few seconds only – then simply slide it out of the pan onto a plate.
Stack the pancakes as you make them between sheets of greaseproof paper on a plate fitted over simmering water, to keep them warm while you make the rest.
To serve, spinkle each pancake with freshly squeezed lemon juice and caster sugar, fold in half, then in half again to form triangles, or else simply roll them up. Serve sprinkled with a little more sugar and lemon juice and extra sections of lemon.
Todays historic telephone conversation investigation involves the legend of the bouncing camera from Sweden, and its whereabouts today.. and the fact that insurance companies really are a bit pants.. and santa and his reindeer really cant be blamed for everything….
Theres a little history to this one… This all happened a few months back when I headed out to Sweden, to FISM.. the said camera, went on a kinda of ‘trip’ in that involved it boucing on the pavement, although it worked for a while after, it soon got a little bit ill and died…
It was an IXUS 700, which aren’t made anymore, and I love the size and weight, and really dislike the replacements in the IXUS line, so I really wanted it repaired rather than replaced with another model.
Luckily the camera was covered under my house insurance.. so it started it’s epic trip around the world…
Almost two months ago it headed on with its suitcases packed on its trip to direct line the insurers..
the camera had booked a driver (citylink) to take it on its travels, however it was firstly pretty narked to find out it didnt get any sort of bag or travel case to start its journey;
CityLink: “here for a collection?”
Drew: “yeah.. do you a have bag to put it in?”
CityLink: “Nope”
Drew: “oh.. normally the courier picks up and seals into a bag and gives me a receipt”
CityLiuink: “It’s back at the depot..”
Drew: “Oh…”
I kinda worked out on the assumption that he 1. had a citylink van and 2. he had a city link uniform on, he was either a pretty enthuiastic thief with bad dress sense, or he was in fact a citylink driver… So I thought what the hell and gave him the camera…
Overnight I kind of started to think that maybe I’d not been as clever as I could have been, and started to wonder if I’d actually been taken in by a good thief with bad dress sense…
Brrrr..Brrrr…
Direct Line: “Hello Direct line?”
Drew: “yeah I gave my camera to a citylink lookalike guy yesterday, and actually just wanted to know if it’d had actually got to you..”
Direct Line: “Oh, well it doesnt actually go to us.. it goes to jessops…”
Drew: “Oh ok.. can I talk to them please?”
Direct Line: “Sure…”
Jessops: “Hello..”
Drew: ” Hi… so…”
Jessops: “So What..”
Drew: “My camera?”
Jessops.. silence…
Drew: “yeah I gave my camera to a citylink lookalike guy yesterday, and actually just wanted to know if it’d had actually got to you..”
Jessops: “Oh it doesnt go to us, it goes to PJ Cameras..”
Drew: “Oh… well did they get it?”
Jessops: “dunno.. have you asked them?”
Drew: “you know what? maybe I should… I’d not thought of that… Can I talk to them??”
Jessops: “Sure…”
PJCameras: “Hello..”
Drew: “morning… Camera.. Citylink.. probably.. did you get it?”
PJCameras: “nope…”
Drew: “errrr…”
PJCameras: “Did you get a shipping number?”
Drew: “No he didnt give me one…”
PJCameras: “Oh.. its probably just delayed… it should be with us soon..”
A few days pass… a few phone calls to jessops and direct line… a month passes and eventually the camera sends back a postcard saying its having a lovely time, and it should get repaired within the next few days…
I then get a letter saying I need to pay the £50 excess… excess gets settled.. Still no sign of camera…
Yesterday I finally get a call from PJCameras;
PJC : “Hi, your camera is repaired.. can we ship it back to you?”
Drew: “Sure..”
PJC: “Friday or thursday?”
Drew: “Thursday please…”
PJC: “So.. friday… morning or afternoon?”
Drew: ” No Thursday… morning…”
PJC: “So Friday morning…”
Drew: “no.. like I said.. thursday morning please….”
PJC: “OK Thursday then… am…”
Drew: “Thanks…”
So.. Thursday came… banners are out for the expectant return of the camera.. sit in… nothing.. no citylink lookalike guy.. no van, no box, no bag, nothing…
So I ring Direct Line;
DL: “hi… direct line…”
Drew: “yeah i have a claim with you for a camera… still no sign of it.. and it was meant to be delivered today, in the morning…”
DL: “Oh you need to talk to..”
Drew: “yeah jessops.. I know.. can I talk to them please..?”
DL: “Sure…”
Jessops: “understand you’re waiting for a camera..”
Drew: “yes.. ”
Jessops: “Yes its with you now yes?”
Drew: “No..”
Jessops: “No…”
Drew: “No.. no camera.. should have been here today..”
Jessops: “Oh let me check with PJcameras….”
much discussions about cameras and drivers and insurance… and Pjcameras then say they have shipped it… and best talk to citylink…
So I ring CityLink..
CityLink: “Yeah, we delivered it…”
Drew: “To where??”
CityLink: “Manchester…”
Drew: “Manchester..?”
CityLink: “You’re not in Manchester are you…?”
Drew” “No…”
CityLink.. “Ooops..”
So I then ring back to Jessops…
Drew: “Seems my camera is in Manchester…”
Jessops: “Yes…”
Drew: “Did you know my camera was in manchester..?”
Jessops: “We knew it had been misdelivered yes…”
Drew: “Did you think to ring me…?”
Jessops: “No…”
Drew: “Ok.. can you see the issues with my camera being in manchester.. and me being in reading?”
Jessops: “No…”
Drew: “So thats all perfectly logical then?”
Jessops: “No..”
Drew: “Do you say no to everything? ”
Jessops: “No…”
Drew: “ok.. so.. my camera isnt here.. its in manchester, although it should have been here this morning.. in fact.. 2 months ago… you said it would take about 14 days to repair.. can you explain what the probelm is?”
Jessops: “Its probably the courier..”
Drew: “Well I’d worked out it wasnt santa and his reindeers fault…”
Jessops: Yes probably the Courier..”
Drew: “IS there anyone in charge at the moment there?”
Jessops: “Noo…”
Drew: “I’ve told you before about the no thing havent I…”
Jessops: “Theres no one in charge..”
Drew: “I’m getting that impression…”
Jessops: “You can talk to me…”
Drew: “Are you in charge…?”
Jessops: “Yes..”
Drew: “Your in charge of the whole call center?”
Jessops: “No.. well.. not really.. I take messages… for the supervisors…”
Drew: “So your not reallly in charge then are you…”
Jessops:: “No… not really…”
Drew: “Are you going to get someone to ring me tomorrow then?”
Jessops: “Yes…”
Drew” “Really? no reindeer, no santas…?”
Jessops: “Yes…”
The camera did finally turn up, and touch wood it’s been fine since, dispite it’s travelling ordeal.. the moral is.. always never use citylink, and dont drop your camera, and its normally the couriers fault..
Second Life is a 3-D virtual world entirely built and owned by its residents. Since opening to the public in 2003, it has grown explosively and today is inhabited by a total of 3,631,035 people from around the globe.
* From the moment you enter the World you’ll discover a vast digital continent, teeming with people, entertainment, experiences and opportunity. Once you’ve explored a bit, perhaps you’ll find a perfect parcel of land to build your house or business.
* You’ll also be surrounded by the Creations of your fellow residents. Because residents retain the rights to their digital creations, they can buy, sell and trade with other residents.
* The Marketplace currently supports millions of US dollars in monthly transactions. This commerce is handled with the in-world unit-of-trade, the Linden dollar, which can be converted to US dollars at several thriving online Linden Dollar exchanges.
Well I suppose in a way I do get it, I mean I know what it is.. That’s mainly because back in 1998 we came up with an idea called Bomba Dang, an environment centred around a virtual world that you controlled and interacted with, we’d planned on making money from specific advertising around the players interests and behaviour. If only I’d pushed some effort into it I might be worth a bit by now!!
Many people see Second Life as a bit of a waste of space, a place people hide form the real world. Get a First Life is a great parody on second life..
But I’m confused.. mainly because I never got how to actually work it.. I loaded it on the Mac months ago.. I got an avatar, I logged in… and all I managed to do was to take off my clothes and sit in a fountain.. I’m probably still sat there in the fountain, butt naked and being gapped at my other bewildered virtual users.
Of course I took my clothes off purely by accident, and it wasn’t my intent to make my first excursion into the virtual world as some sort of cyber-streaker..
Even us Magishes are moving into Second Life; Sin City has put an open call out for Second Lifers to move into Nevada’s favorite destination and make it just as wild of a place as it’s flesh and blood version is;
Welcome to Ace of Spades, a modern based SL located in the heart of Las Vegas, Nevada. In Vegas, everything and anything goes, and your character has a chance to be a part of it. Just visiting? Vacation home? Resident? Star performer like Siegfried and Roy or the show Cirque du Soleil? Entrepreneur? Part of the mafia? Then you’ve come to the right place. This isn’t your typical apartment style storyline. We’re looking for fun, creative, and active members for this new, up and coming SL.
So what am I missing?? Why cant I see what I need to do, and how to do it? and why aren’t I seeing what other people see?
Maybe I’m being like the people I spoke to when I first got ‘The internet’ when I was about 18.. Their comments were pretty much ‘..well what do you wanna do that for.. it’s pointless its not going anyplace.. I don’t get it..’
So I guess some how in my onward journey in IBM I should get my head around exactly what’s happening with Virtual Environments and Businesses ?
It seems from the Whats New section on GMail / GoogleMail that you can get all your email from other accounts in gmail;
Get mail from other accounts
Now Gmail can check for the mail you receive at your other email accounts. You can retrieve your mail (new and old) from up to five other email accounts and have them all in Gmail. Then you can even create a customized ‘From:’ address, which lets you send messages from Gmail, but have them look like they were sent from another one of your email accounts. Please note that you can only retrieve mail from accounts that have POP3 access enabled
It’s called ‘Mail Fetcher’ and allows you to get mail from up to five other non Gmail accounts with all the functionality of Gmail.. The instructions look pretty simple, alas its not yet applied to everyone’s account; This feature is currently only enabled for a limited number of users. We’re working on making it more available soon.
It seems like a nice feature, especially as I cannot get to my home email server from inside IBM offices (not quite sure why!)
Reading borough council, have decided to introduce more wheelie bins than you know what to do with.. Originally we had Grey bins, when Red bins, and boxes, and then we get Green bins and bags no less..
The thinking behind this is ok, we have to reduce the amount of land fill rubbish then we dump, and try and recycle more of our rubbish, something I wholeheartedly agree with. However the whole process of the bins seems a bit confusing… I’m planning another call to them about what exactly can be recycled, just because it says recycling on it, doesn’t mean Reading Borough Council deem it or indeed want it to be recycled..
My problem here was the fact that they wanted me to buy another wheelie bin;
What is Green Garden Waste?
Things like weeds, grass cuttings leaves and garden prunings, which can be composted. It does not include things like soil, rubble and old garden furniture. We will not be collecting kitchen waste with green garden waste, please compost this or wrap and place in your grey bin. Green garden waste makes up around 27% of the contents of each wheeled bin during some times of the year.
How can I order a Green Garden Waste bin or bag?
Green garden waste bins and bags will be available for an initial discounted one off charge of £25 (bin) or £10 (bag). You can order them by calling our freephone 0800 834 035 number, or complete the Green Garden Waste Bin/Bag Request Form (which can be found on the top right of this page under Related Information). We aim to deliver the bins within 2 weeks of payment.
You can apply for one of two types of green garden waste container, either:
* A 240 litre wheeled bin – £25
* A 90 litre re-usable polypropylene bag – £10
I decided as a consumer monkey I needed to ring Reading Borough Council (RBC) and investigate exactly why I needed to pay for a bin to put something in I was already putting into another bin…
burr burr…
click…
RBC: hello reading borough council…?
drew: morning.. how are you…
RBC: err fine sir.. how are you…?
drew: just dandy..
RBC: good..
drew: ..except… I’d like to make an enquiry about your new green bins…
RBC: the garden rubbish ones…?
drew: yeah… those…
RBC: what is it?
drew: why do i need to pay £25 to have one.. ?
RBC: because its unfair on the people without gardens to have to pay £25 to fund a service they don’t use..
drew: well thats nice… I’m glad your thinking about them… however.. I’m a little bit miffed you’ve not thought about me…
RBC: why…?
drew: well I pay my council tax.. which should cover my rubbish right…
RBC: yes..
drew: except for my spanky new green bin?
RBC: no thats covered.. its optional..
drew: what is.. paying my council tax or the green bin?
RBC: the bin..
drew: so its optional for me to buy a green bin from you for £25, fill it with garden rubbish and have you collect it…?
RBC: yes..
drew: can I still put garden waste into my normal bin?
RBC: yes.. we’ll still sort the recyling rubbish and the garden rubbish and burn what we can, and landfill the rest..
drew: hmmm.. have you recently had a ‘take your monkeys into work day?’
RBC: sorry?
drew: oh i just though that might have been when the idea for this came up… ‘lets get people to buy a bin, to put the stuff they can normally put into standard bin, but we’ll make it really appealing.. and paint it green…’
RBC: its not quite like that… you pay for the extra bin.. for garden waste.. you can have a normal wheelie bin, a recyling red bin, and the optional green bin..
drew: so three bins..?
RBC: yes sir three bins..
drew: if I loose one… can i have another… I mean three bins is a lot of responsibility… I mean do you have kids?
RBC: yes sir..
drew: how many…?
RBC: two but..
drew: ever lost any when your out and about?
RBC: not really but they can be hard to keep track of..
drew: exactly!!! imagine taking three out… and then there entertaining them in the holidays… cleaning… three bins is a lot of work.. I’m not really sure if I can cope…
RBC: its not quite ilke that is it?
drew: what happens if I do loose one?
RBC: its stolen you mean..?
drew: yeah.. or kidnapped!
RBC: if you lost a black or red wheelie bin we’re replace it for you free of charge…
drew: excellent… do you sell green paint as well??
CLICK…
drew: hello???
So it seems Green bins, and bags, are completely optional.. although you cant paint your bin green and put garden rubbish in it, as someone tried!!
A few months back, well last year a large group of us headed up to Birmingham for a party in a certain large hotel, we were having lamb and keep in mind that there were well over 800 of us.. We got the wine list from the hotel a week or so before we went up, and it seemed quite expensive.
A bottle of Casa La Joya chardonnay, which you can get from Oddbins, or Sainsburys for about £7-£9 was £23.50 a bottle at this hotel.. I decided to check up on the facts…
briing briing….
hotel: “hello hotel xxxx birmingham….”
drew: “good morning.. how are you??”
hotel: “good sir, my names suzy.. how can i help..?
drew: “whats with the £23.50 for a £7 bottole of Casa La Joya chardonnay then?”
hotel: “sorry?”
drew: “well i mean it is a delightful merlot dripping with ripe blackcurrant fruit and with a dash of vanilla and vying for the top spot against the new raft of Aussie merlots, and yes most people reckon this particular number is top dollar and will have no troubles scooping the wine prizes, and I fully understand it’s not a wine to stand on ceremony and should be drunk in quantity as you let the good times roll, and I should keep it simple on the food front and maybe dish up some pasta, but probably not lamb.. but £23.50 a bottle??”
hotel: “errr…. well… you’d need to talk to the beverages manager..”
drew: “can you talk to them and just double check the price please.. I’m sure its a printing error…”
hotel: “err ok… please hold…”
pause….
hotel: “hello hotel xxx birmingham….”
drew: “morning… is that the beverages manager?”
hotel: “no this is reception sir..”
drew: “oh. sorry I guess someone made a mistake.. I was talking to someone called suzy about beverages…”
hotel: “oh let me put you through…”
drew: “thank you..”
hotel: “hello…”
drew: “hello suzy… its me again.. you seem to have accidently passed me back to reception.. but thats ok.. I’m back now…”
hotel: pause……
drew: “suzy?”
hotel: pause…. “err yes sorry i must have made a mistake…”
drew: “thats ok.. its just me and a few of my friends would like to know the price of the wine… we’re coming up to stay with you soon so…”
hotel: “errr… well they say its £23.50 a bottle…”
drew: “thats quite expensive isn’t it?”
hotel: “I can’t comment on that one…”
drew: “who can…”
hotel: “the beverages manager”
drew: “whos….?”
hotel: “not here at the moment..”
drew: “you’re going to get him to ring me aren’t you?”
hotel: “yes…”
drew: “and you not going to transfer me back to reception are you?”
hotel: “no..”
drew: “ok… thank you suzy for you help, you’ve been very patient and helpful, and I’ll ring you back if I have any problems…”
hotel” “err..”
drew: “gooood..”
click….
So I had a long chat with the beverages manager at the hotel Mr lina, tommy or tom to his friends.. funnily he wanted me to call him Mr Lina… and I also asked in the customer services could ring me about my issues with their hotel, namely the car parking fee and the wine….
It seems that Kathy Vinton (or Bathy Winter as the somewhat disgruntled receptionist at hotel’s head office pronounced her name) is the responsible adult in charge of keeping customers happy in the uk…
Unfortunately, Kathy was on holiday the day I rang.. so I decided to talk with the lady that works with her.. jenny….
It seems that this hotel group run a lovely strange world of hotels, somehow involving cows, grass, tarmac, and seem very concerned about preserving the state of carparks around the uk… Keep in mind.. we’re eating lamb for the main course..
Drew: So, jenny, I’ve got a few things I’d like to discuss with you about your chain of hotels
hotel: err yes, I’ve been informed there were a few things you wanted to discuss…
Drew: Yes, can I start with wine… I’m staying with you this weekend, and I have some difficulty understanding the huge mark up on your wines…
hotel: yes.. which one?
Drew: all of them… lets take the casa la joya… its £23.50 when actually its about £6..
hotel: from where…
Drew: well anywhere really… Oddbins, bargain bucket wine, ok thats really cheap but hey…
hotel: Well obviously your paying for a service at the hotel
Drew: sorry?
hotel: well you in a serviced environment…
Drew: No, I’m in a hotel…
hotel: yes.. you paying for the hotel experience…
Drew: which you class as different to jumping in the car and shooting down the offi?
hotel: well yes, theres the serving of the wine
Drew: yeah me asking the bar guy for a bottle of wine, and him handing it to me…
hotel: and the service
Drew: the guy saying for £23.50 ?
hotel: no your not understanding.. its the whole hotel experience..
Drew: gotta be some experience for the £17.50 mark up…
hotel: well yes, but the hotels do work to our guidelines..
Drew: so why the massive mark up?
hotel: well theres all sorts of things that effect the price, and its very competative…
Drew: ok… but your hotel group made £156million in profit… and theres about 400 (ok so i think its closer to the 700 mark) are you looking to double your profits this year ?
hotel: no.. but theres the housekeeping as well…
Drew: oh my god, you charge for that too ? or do they drink the wine??
hotel: Neither, but we have to pay for that, and then theres the gas, electricity, water, and things go up in price, like gas has gone up 13%..
Drew: I thought you were a hotel?
hotel: we are.. why ?
Drew: oh its just I thought I’d suddenly started talking to my nan!
hotel: so.. is there anything else I can help with…
Drew: yes.. the parking…
hotel: yes?
Drew: so.. not only do I pay quite a high rate for your room, and that hotel experience I also have to pay £7 to get out of the carpark… why do you charge for the carpark as well?
hotel: well we charge that for the upkeep of the carpark..
Drew: upkeep ?
hotel: yes the upkeep..
Drew: isn’t it just a carpark?
hotel: well no.. for years our group of hotels have not passed on the charges for maintaining and preserving the carparks, but we felt its now time to pass on that charge to the customers..
Drew: your preserving carparks ?
hotel: yes..
Drew: isnt it just a hole in the ground under the hotel ?
hotel: no.. theres grass to be tarmac’ed over, and concrete to be layed, the car parks need to look nice
Drew: tarmac’ed grass and concrete.. sounds lovely..
hotel: yes…
Drew: So why charge for all this stuff…
hotel: As I said its very competative…
Drew: so you put the prices up?
hotel: no…
Drew: ‘cept the wine, the carpark… and….
hotel: ..gas.. water.. electricity..
Drew: ok enough of the my nan bit… Do you get alot more customers?
hotel: no..
Drew: why do you think that is… I mean I used to have meetings in the hotels, but not stay.. I used to order food and tea.. I don’t now… do you get alot of customers like that now?
hotel: no not as much as a whole..
Drew: why do you think that is..?
hotel: the cows…
Drew: the cows… Confused Pause
hotel: foot and mouth, 911, the london bombings..
Drew: the cows did all that?!?! Confused Pause
hotel: no but the foot and mouth issues hit hotels hard..
Drew: I’m not going to ask if there was a drop in the number of bovine bookings…
hotel: laughs.. no.. but that whole cow thing was one of the reasons behind the carpark charges, especially as we’ve kept our tarrifs the same for years..
Drew: so in summary then… its because of the cows that I need to pay £7 to get out of the carpark, and the overpriced wine, the bar guy saying £23.50 and handing me a bottle and glass, and just the fact that I’m in a hotel is what I’m paying for.. the tarmac grass, the concrete, the increasing gas and water prices, and the cows.. all part of the hotel experience..
hotel: well in a way yes…
Drew: you know were eating lamb on saturday.. ?
click……..
I did actually enjoy the hotel experience from that particular chain of hotels, especially the two glasses and candelabra form our table, and the two sets of slippers from the hotel room.. we now make good use of them at home… moooooo!
It annoys me how us consumers sometime get the dirty end of the stick from companies and services, and its always brightened my day to pass back to certain companies a bit of their own medicine. I’ve written up calls I’ve had previously for a friends to read via email, and I thought it would slightly childish to repost them here.. we’ll start with this mornings..
A major bank sent me another letter today asking if I wanted their classic visa credit card, I assumed that given I’ve asked them 4 times to stop sending me letters asking, that they were really keen to have me as a customer.. so i thought.. well. if they can hassle me…
Burrrrrr…
[BANK] hello ‘major bank’ credit services how can i help..
[Drew] good morning, can I interest you in a drew credit card?
[BANK] sorry?
[Drew] Drew credit card.. would you like one ?
[BANK] err.. no what ?
[Drew] I thought I’d offer you a credit card, you keep offering me one and I thought I’d offer you one as well.
[BANK] we dont take out credit cards
[Drew] oh.. sure you’d not like a credit card?
[BANK] Please stop asking…
pause..
[Drew] would you like a drew card?
[BANK] No… why are you asking?
[Drew] Well I thought as you kept sending me letters asking if I wanted one.. and I keep asking you NOT to send me letters.. I’d keep asking you..
[BANK] oh
[Drew] So would you like a drew card?
[BANK] Can I put you on hold a moment ?
[Drew] sure..
music…..
[BANK_2] hello ‘major bank’ credit services how can i help..
[Drew] good morning, can I interest you in a drew credit card?
[BANK_2] Errrr..
[Drew] Well I just asked the previous person if they wanted a drew card.. and they said no..
[BANK_2] why are you asking me ??
[Drew] Well I thought as you kept sending me letters asking if I wanted one.. and I keep asking you NOT to send me letters.. I’d keep asking you..
[BANK_2] no.. look.. I can remove you from our system.. we only work on behalf of BANK, we’re not BANK..
we swap details… and I’m apparently ‘removed’ from the system (again)
[Drew] Can I talk to you manager now please?
[BANK] err yes please wait a second…
pause.. music.. pause..
[BANK Mgr] Hello Mr Webb… how can I help?
[Drew] Would you like a drew card ??
[BANK Mgr] err what?!
[Drew] Well I asked the last two people if they wanted a drew card and they said no..
[BANK Mgr] ahh, yes i can see your point but not you dont need to keep asking..
[Drew] Well I thought as you kept sending me letters asking if I wanted one.. and I keep asking you NOT to send me letters.. I’d keep asking you..
[MNBA Mgr] right.. well no.. so you dont need to ask us..
[Drew] Sure.. ?
[BANK Mgr] you details have been removed from the system.. so you shouldn’t get any more mailings..
[Drew] shouldn’t or won’t ?
[BANK Mgr] shouldnt..
[Drew] kinda sounds like I might then ?
[BANK Mgr] no… shouldnt
[Drew] theres that word again.. I might or I might not get more mailings ?
[BANK mgr] well you might get a few more in the next 8 weeks, as thats how long it takes to filter through…
[Drew] Would you like a drew card ??
[BANK mgr] err nope.. I was funny, but you dont need to labour your point you can stop asking that. I understand its annoying to get mailings but please.. stop it
[Drew] Ok.. sorry.. I might not ask again… but it could take up to 8 weeks..
Click…… hello? helloooo?
Now there is a work wise moral to this story.. it seems one of the reasons I keep getting letters is that they don’t have any matching software.. i.e. I’m on their system under various different names and variants of my name. So when they remove one… they don’t remove others..
Maybe I’ll let them cool off a bit and suggest they look at some matching cleansing and de-duplication software…
Now Derek Acorah is the one medium who actually looks like he could communicate with the dead (based on the fact he looks it!) but he’s not probably that well known outside the UK. The ‘communicator’ with the spirit world has gained somewhat of a degree of cult celebrity, although his choice of proof and resources for this is a bit dubious, such as the fact he swears to keep in contact with an Ethiopian guide in another dimension.
Thankfully though he’s parted ways with his first big television series under allegations that his producer secretly invented a fake dead person that happened on possessing Derek’s body, after the producer leaked the name to the crew. You have to hand it to the producer, the phony ghost’s name was Kreed Kafer, an anagram for Derek Faker.
Of course, he vehemently denies the charges and has moved on to greener pastures in terms of television exposure when he’s not playing packed houses with his live show.
I love the quote from Derren Brown on Acorah:
“If I die I’d like to haunt Derek. I hate everything he stands for.”
But I mean, given deep proof provided by Harry Hill, who couldn’t believe ??
The government seem to be getting a lot of ePetitions up lately, now some, such as the Helping Hand or the Gold petitions are a bit bogus and obviously just drawing in the crowds, but there’s another one up that looks in a similar vein to the car tax one. I’m predicting some righteous indignation and pitchfork-waving, or worse still.. flashguns at dawn..
I still really don’t get 
It seems from the 
Reading borough council, have decided to introduce more wheelie bins than you know what to do with.. Originally we had Grey bins, when Red bins, and boxes, and then we get Green bins and bags no less..
Entries (RSS)
Entries (RSS)