You may have noticed the last update to the blog was way back in January, its now October.. Thats a huge break in writing.
So, what have I been? Some of you will know.. others won’t, some won’t even care.. Way back around November time I started noticing (and so did other people) things about me, that just didn’t seem, right.
My speech was becoming slurred, my memory was getting really bad, and I was having real issues concentrating, and generally communicating. Being me, I tried to shrug these things off, and it was only after a trip away in February when my wife physically couldn’t wake me up one morning, and my left arm was extremely stiff and painful to raise up, we agreed it was time to get someone to have a look at me. Here started a long journey, and one that is still going on, and may go on for some time.
Obviously the urgency was to check for all the horrible stuff that you just always hope and pray isn’t going to happen to you, things like strokes, and brain tumours. This was quite a frightening time, because, you just don’t know.
I had MRI scans, unfortunately having your head stuck in a magnetron for a long period while they scan your brain for what they called ‘organic anomalies’ doesn’t give you any special powers, and it’s not an overly pleasant experience. The only upside really being that within a few weeks of poking, scanning, prodding and attaching to various gizmo’s, the consultants managed to rule out the two most terrifying things that might be wrong with me, and thankfully, this meant I wasn’t likely to leave this mortal earth ahead of my time (phew!)
Next, more tests.. possibly one of the strangest was when I was hooked up all night to a monitoring machine to measure my blood oxygen levels and heart rate (amongst other things!). I did feel a little like I was on a day trip to Kabul, and it was quite worrying at 11pm at night when the unit went ‘BEEEEEP’, lit up like a Christmas tree as it armed itself automatically.. Feeling a little like the bloke out of ’24’ . Laying almost motionless in bed, my finger glowed red all night from the blood oxygen monitor, the cats chasing my finger if I moved a muscle.
I’ll spare you the various poking and prodding that went on for the next few months, and through all this I kept having to look on the positive side that there was nothing nasty in my head which had it in for me.
So the upshot of all this is that I’m still having great difficulties, and I’m still not back to myself, in fact, I’m still on long term sick leave. My speech can, on days be awful, and I’m sorry but I WILL forget things you tell me, or ask me to do, and if I stop mid sentence, have slurred speech or use the wrong words, I’m not drunk, I’m just having issues…
Why am I telling you this…? Well, mainly because I do want you to know I’m still here, I’ve not vanished, and I’m starting to find writing a bit therapeutic.. I also do want to start catching up on all the wonderful things that, despite the last eight months, have been good, and should be recorded for future reading..